“IMWAN for all seasons.”



Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 4:12 am 
User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 35552
Location: Between the thumb and the wrist.
Victory


Very few of us returned that day. Of the fifty men sent to take the village, less than a dozen made it back. On some days I feel guilty about being in that minority. Some days I thank God. But a day doesn't pass that I don't think about it in some way.

I crouched down in the foxhole, holding my breath as red-hot bullets whizzed overhead. Conway lay on the ground, sobbing huge, heaving sobs. I didn't blame him. Dumb kid lied his way into the war at 16, then found out it was nothing like the movies.

"Come on, Private! On your feet!" Yelling at the fresh meat was the only thing that kept me from losing it. "You won't shoot anyone down there!" Groeler laughed. The big sergeant from Iowa laughed at everything lately. We all had our ways to cope. Conway looked up just in time to see Groeler's face explode. Nobody laughed, then. We all just hunkered down, waiting for a break in the firing. All of us except for Conway. He was on his feet, firing like a madman. That's what it takes somedays.

The letter Conway wrote to his girlfriend the morning he died sits framed on my desk. The dumb bastard had written to break up with his girlfriend after meeting a pretty little girl at the last village. No one had the heart to tell him that the girl took a liking to most of the soldiers that came through, and I didn't have the heart to mail a Dear Jane letter from a dead man. Took me most of a night to copy his handwriting and write something more appropriate. We were back in that village a week later. The girl didn't even ask about Conway.

Over the next week we managed to advance a total of twenty yards. Sixty feet and six men dead. Hell of a thing to spend your life for ten feet of land. Still, some of them spent it for less.

Ripping cloth. Somehow, over the explosion of mortar shells, I could hear the sound of ripping cloth. There was dirt, blood, and God knows what else in my eye and a burning sensation in my gut. In the movies you don't feel the fiery sledgehammer sensation of a bullet slamming into your body. You don't smell the sweat, the piss, the rotting flesh of infected wounds. No actor I ever saw looked anything like how I felt. If I'd known that bullet was going to keep me in the foxhole, keep me out of the ambush that wiped out thirty-two men for ten more yards, I'd have kissed it after Slim cut it out of me.

You hear a lot of talk about what it takes to win a war. It's all about attrition. You kill enough of them, or they kill enough of you, for tiny pieces of land. Do that enough times, in enough battles, and you've won the war.




The End


Comments and criticisms are welcome.

_________________
Daily art blog Very Short Drawings
Pay a visit to The Writers' Block, where writers, uh...write stuff!
Read my comic strip A Boy Called Monk
Read my comic book Town of Shadows


Top
  Profile E-mail  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 1:31 pm 
User avatar
How does

Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 20170
Location: Keystone City
Bannings: fear taste?
This story makes me think of the various World War II vets I've met over the years. As many times as we hear how great our armed forces were, and that we knuckled down and won that war, so many of those vets didn't want to talk about it. At least, they didn't for many years.

Nicely written, Matt.

_________________
"I'm right 97% of the time. Who cares about the other 4%?"


Top
  Profile  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 6:19 pm 
User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 35552
Location: Between the thumb and the wrist.
One last bump.

_________________
Daily art blog Very Short Drawings
Pay a visit to The Writers' Block, where writers, uh...write stuff!
Read my comic strip A Boy Called Monk
Read my comic book Town of Shadows


Top
  Profile E-mail  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:38 pm 
User avatar

Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Posts: 40002
Location: Die, Marti Tracy, die
Bump by Taft, because this is an awesome story.

Take a few minutes and read it. This is good stuff.

Kudos to you, Matt.


Top
  Profile  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:40 pm 
User avatar
...

Joined: 26 Oct 2006
Posts: 59401
Well done, Matt. Really good stuff.

Taft has the copyright on the word 'awesome'....but I'll write him an IOU. That was awesome, mate.

_________________
"They'll bite your finger off given a chance" - Junkie Luv (regarding Zebras)


Top
  Profile  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:36 am 
User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 35552
Location: Between the thumb and the wrist.
A non-self-pimping bump. I'm honored.

Thanks, guys!

_________________
Daily art blog Very Short Drawings
Pay a visit to The Writers' Block, where writers, uh...write stuff!
Read my comic strip A Boy Called Monk
Read my comic book Town of Shadows


Top
  Profile E-mail  
 
 Post subject: Very Short Fiction #4: Victory
PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2007 4:21 pm 
User avatar
Emissary to the Prophets

Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Posts: 28198
Location: On the DEFIANT
I like this one a lot, Matt. As I've said before, you write with power and grace. That's all it takes, really, to make a story work.

You're there.


Top
  Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ]   



Who is WANline

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  


Powdered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited

IMWAN is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide
a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk.