What if every time he had looked at me I had realized he really liked me?
What if every time he watched me with someone else he was wondering What he could do or say to make me notice him?
What if every invitation to just do lunch was his way of saying notice me? What if I had said yes?
What if I wish he had had the courage to tell me he thought of me or
even liked me?
What if he had said I think your pretty?
What if I hadn't yelled at him and said no I can't do this?
What if he had let me talk to him after that and explain my fears
and anger over his always blurting stuff out in a crowd?
Or Just my fears of getting involved too quickly, not knowing what to do, feeling like I was a misfit.
What if he hadn't walked away, I know I had hurt him?
What if he had stopped and listened to me?
What if his heart soared when I said I loved him?
What if I cry when he speaks to me again?
What if I can never look at him again and feel happy?
What if I can?
What if I just feel the sadness of knowing I am the reason he turns his back when he sees me?
What if he turns a deaf ear when I speak his name?
What if I can't speak over a whisper because I am so sad?
What if he does stop, turn around and looks at me?
What if he ever smiles at me again...?
What if he never smiles at me again?
What if I see a tear in his eye and the look he has on his face?
What if he is sorry too?
What if he comes and begs forgiveness for the whole misunderstandings...
for the anguish of not seeing why I was hurt or afraid?
What if he chooses someone else?
What if he doesn't....?
What if I am alone forever...?
What if he was by my side, holding my hand, Finally telling me his heart?
What if he says he loves me...?
What if he doesn't...?
What if this is all a dream...?
What if I wake up and it never happened...?
What if I wake up and it is just a nightmare...?
What if he is offered everything he ever wanted and always said he was looking for and then.... ?
What if he changes his mind and decides that it is me....?
What if it never will be?
What if there is never anyone for me?
What if I can never be seen for just being me?
What if ?
What if?

What if I really don't exist/
What if I dissappeared?
What if something happened to me and no one ever told him?
What if something happens to him & I never find out?
What if I can never have children/
What if I can?
What if I am not a good person?
What if I can never be?

What if he never gets to know how I love the way he smiles that crooked grin.
The look he gets when I catch him watching me and how he says "What?"
and I just say "oh nothing"
The way his hair falls over his eye when it gets a little long.
The way he teases me and how he laughs when he knows I don't mean it when I say "Oh stop it"
The twinkle in his eyes when I have amused him by saying something
stupid or silly.
How I like to watch him draw or doodle.
How he looks when he has stayed up too late and falls asleep in his chair.
How he is when he is helping someone and catches me watching him. How he looks all sheepish and embarrassed.
Then he smiles becauses he likes it when I watch him.
Or says "I am just saying hi just to see if you will want to talk or if you don't I can walk away"
Or "Can I walk with you, we don't have to talk"

Or what if he never does those things again?
Never looks at me or smiles or acts silly to see me smile.
Never teases me again because I snubbed him.
Never wants to draw with me, or even draw me.

What if I HAVE lost the bestest friend I could ever have had.

Audra, that's a moving poem. I hope replying doesn't disrupt the flow if you have more to add. Bravo.

Thanks Dave..
No It won't disrupt it at all
I thought I would try a freeform poem
I had been thinking of Audrey Hepburn and Funny Face
So I decided to try it...

What if I saw you across a crowded room?
What if you turned and walked away...
What if you turned and came to me?
What if she hunted me
Accused me of taking you away.
What if she knew I had lost you already?

What if I fell,
Would you be there to catch me?
What if I lost my breath,
Would you be there to save me?
What if I lost my sight
Would you be there to guide me?
What if I lost my way,
Would you be there to find me?
What if You needed a hand to hold onto,
Would you let me help you?
What if you were crying,
Would you let me comfort you?
What if you were dying,
Would you let me lie with you?
Would you let me go instead
What if I were to disappear,
Would you miss me,
Would you search for me, as I would for you or
Would you just forget me and let me go?

What if you were trembling with emotion
Standing before me
Wanting to say what is in your heart
Would you want me to find the words for you or
Take you in my arms and show you how much I care too?

What if you didn't?
What if you couldn't?
What if you never will?

Here is the original song:
Joe Nichols - Another Side Of You
Artist: Joe Nichols
Album: Real Things
Year: 2007
Title: Another Side Of You

Well you rolled out of bed and stubbed your toe
And I heard you almost cuss
And I fought back the urge to laugh
Just listen to you fuss
Then you overdid the coffee
Couldn't get your hair just right
When I smiled and said good morning
You looked mad enough to fight

Well that's another side of you
That I'm in a love with too

Yeah that mini van is a far cry
From the sports car in your dreams
And that dead end job
Is pushin back vacation more it seems
You got soccer at 4:30
And ballet class by 5:00
Then I call you talkin' flirty
You ask have I lost my mind

Well that's another side of you
That I'm in love with too

When you lay down in my arms
Let go of all that stress
Whisper honey I love you
With your head on my chest
When the world's strongest woman is my lady
When the day is through

Well that's another side of you
That I'm in love with too

If I had to do the things you do
Well I'd just lose my mind
Somehow you get up by 8:00
And settle down by nine
And I hear you down the hallway
As you're layin' down to sleep
And pray the good lord watches over them for you and me

Well that's another side of you
That I'm in love with too

Well that's another side of you
That I'm in love with too

I know I drive you crazy
When I say things I don't mean
I drive you up a wall
When I make no sense at all
I hate it when we fight
And I see you clench your jaw
I know you bite your tongue
So you won't say what's on your mind

That's another side of you
That I am in love with too

You see right thru me
You know when I am being afraid
With some senseless fear
You don't quite understand
Your strong and brave
You don't see how I can let it get to me

That's another side you
That I am in love with too

When you tease me with a twinkle in your eyes
When you want to walk beside me
With all your boyish charms
When you introduce me to your friends
Even when I am not so nice

That's another side you
That I am in love with too

**************
a reworked version of what I wrote earlier