Ernie the Pixie lived in a magic forest a long, long time ago. Ernie was carefree and happy and wore fuzzy yellow pajamas which he never took off, even in the shower. Ernie spent his days building crude huts out of stone knives and bearskins, which did nothing for his popularity, not to mention his fuzzy yellow pajamas.

Yet Ernie was a happy elf, even though he was a pixie, and would flounce about in a carefree manner befitting one named Ernie. One day, as he flounced to his next hut-building site, he chanced upon a rhinoceros named Kelly. Having never seen a rhinoceros before, let alone one with a nametag on it, Ernie released his magic pixie dust in hopes it would grant the giant beast a gentle slumber. Kelly, one of the few asthmatic rhinoceri known in the world, was immediately offended, and crossed Ernie’s name out of all the lists of all the beings that existed, which she carried around in her head, and she refused to acknowledge his presence.

This bothered Ernie not. Even though chagrined at the loss of 5 grams of high grade pixie dust, he continued blissfully on his way, totally unaware of the chain of events that he had just triggered which would soon bring about his grisly death.