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As I go thru life and gain more and yet more years, I feel younger everyday. Except for minor aches and pains, I ask myself were has all the time gone? My teen years came and gone with not much of a fuss. Twenties has came and went with so much uneeded drama I strive to forget everthing that I can. Reamebering lots of things that one can not, like the birth of a child, reminding me of the ones lost ....
Do I feel younger because of early onset senility? Do I feel younger because I finally living the way that I always needed to? Iam I really living the way I always wanted to live? I play with my only son and I feel likes its the first time my hands have really touched the earth.with the
dirt under my nails it feels so wonderful, mud between my toes. Red clay earth staining the soles of my shoeless feet, thank god for soap and warm water, to set there in the mud and feel my clothes get sticky and then dry with the suns heat, waiting for the rain to come in so Aden and I can lay down on the sidewalk and bake our bakes while the rain cools our faces washing us clean of the mud pies.
Early senilty.. no just wanting to live in the now forgeting about the pains of my own growing, Living the way I always needed yes living for not just myself, Living the way I wanted to just found it out the long way around.
Without the ones lost, Aden and I his Mommie live.
Waking in the morning to Aden kissing my face, this is life, this is life. Wishing wont bring back what is lost,I can only pray that the memory never will be. So many lost mudpies, little stained feet and hands and soapy baths. Lives that were cut short, no breath, no face, just the knowing,the feeling. How many little kisses and tiny hugs, the snuggles, earaches , baby teeth would I have had, if only they had been allowed to live, to breath... Life...[/spoiler]
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Last edited by Johanna on Sat May 19, 2007 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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