A little something I once wrote after joking around during Easter, "What adventures do you think Jesus will have now that he has evaded the icy hand of death? What heroic quests will he undertake? The possibilities are limitless." It's meant to be absurd.

Yes, if you're a person of faith, this is probably offensive, so consider passing right by if that's the case.

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THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF JESUS
Episode IV

They would catch him if he didn't hurry.

He could hear the clatter of their armor echoing through the forest's deep folds and undulations. The ring of their spears and shields. The barking orders forcing them forward despite the chilled air.

They were closing fast.

Jesus knew he had cut it close this time. Breaking into the Sultan's palace was a risky proposition from the start, made riskier still by the injury he nursed after his confrontation with Pilate Jr., but the lure of gold was too great to resist, and the reward sure to come his way would allow him to live comfortably for at least the next year.

Or at least until the Jews caught up to him again.

But there was no time to consider that now. The Persians were getting closer and if he didn't find cover there would be one less Son of God in the world.

A stream cut its way through the bottom of a long, winding gully, slashing the forest in two. Grey stones rested upon its banks, some piled haphazardly, creating narrow openings and hidden alcoves. Whether the piles were made by the hands of man or through his Father's will mattered not; they would provide him the chance he desperately needed. Jesus picked the largest pile he could find. He crawled onto his belly, pushing through mud and grass until his lithe frame was tucked snuggly in a nook between two of the larger stones.

Just in time. Some dozen Persian soldiers crested the tree-covered hill from which Jesus had just come, their spears shining angrily in the bright light of noon. A squat, swarthy man pointed and shouted orders in the rude language of the Persians. They were relentless. The Son of God was stunned they had pursued him so far north, for it was unlike the Sultan to range so far abroad. Yet pursue they did, with a fervor that left the Messiah breathless. Breathless, and laughing. Jesus was in a bad spot, yes, but still couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself. Despite their fearsome presence on the battlefield, for whatever reason he found the Persians to be rather comical. If ever he settled down, Jesus vowed to have a small statue of a Persian on his front lawn.

They were sweeping down the hill now, spreading out amongst the trees, calling for his surrender.

'They'll give up soon,'

I am deeply offended ... that I have to wait for the next thrilling installment.
Will the Son of God escape? Will he be betrayed once again by his arch nemesis, Peter and his Crowing Cock? I for one will be here next week at the same Jesus time...same Jesus thread.

More please

I don't know, this Jesus fellow seems like a bit of a Mary Sue.

*ducks*

Fake fan!



http://www.amazon.com/dp/1560977809/?tag=imwan-20

You seriously didn't know about that book? Even I had heard of it, and the word "Jesus" grabs my attention about as much as the word "Regis" does.

I don't see the problem. That book is "The NEW Adventures of Jesus".

Taft's masterwork is "The FURTHER Adventures of Jesus".

Completely different titles. Completely different vibe.

I seriously didn't know about the book when I wrote these (I saw "these" because there are other chapters). It sprang up as an Easter gag.

Now I kind of want to check out that book.

I have a friend who used to joke around with the idea of writing Jesus fan fiction.

She is Christian.

I somehow missed this thread. Cool story, Taft. Even if it is apparently a bit derivative.

It made me sad to see the book Sisko posted. This was one of a series of Further Adventures of Jesus vignettes I did. I just can't bring myself to post the others now that I've seen that book. It crushed my dreams.

Crusher of Dreams.

That's my new Navajo name.

No more adventures, Eric?

I mean...doesn't Jesus get to perform some miracles? Turn water into wine and get the Perians drunk? Steal a magic carpet from the Sultan? Convert some heathens?

More, I say!

I'll post another one in the next day or so. My writing has ground to a halt in recent weeks, all my creative efforts going towards music, so I've been rather lax in checking Writer's Block and reminaing in touch. Another installment, I promise!

Hallelujah!